Big Big Love

It’s gratifying when things effortlessly fall into place. And by ‘things’ I mean a series of synchronous events that help me understand myself and my current experience.

This happened for me this morning whilst sipping coffee after waking from a rough night’s sleep. I noticed I was feeling down but couldn’t relate it to anything in particular. ‘Just my humdrum life’, I assumed. But as a ‘good Course student’, I knew that excuse didn’t cut it. I must have separated myself from my right mind, peace, and Love. Still, I was curious as to the specific nature of my resistance; to how it was being played out. I thought about the following passage from the Course, which suggests what to do when you’ve ‘got the humdrums’:

‘When your mood tells you that you have chosen wrongly, and this is so whenever you are not joyous, then know this need not be. In every case you have thought wrongly about some brother God created, and are perceiving images your ego makes in a darkened glass. Think honestly what you have thought that God would not have thought, and what you have not thought that God would have you think. Search sincerely for what you have done and left undone accordingly, and then change your mind to think with God’s’ (T-4.IV.2: 2-5).

As I pondered on this, my partner appeared, putting my copy of A Course in Miracles (which I had left in the spare room) on the table beside me, then walked away. I was struck by this timing and felt drawn to open the Course where I’d placed a marker several days before. ‘To Have, Give All to All’, was where I left off in Chapter Six, ‘The Lessons of Love’. Curiously, this section addressed the first miracle principle — There is no order of difficulty in miracles — the subject of my last post:

‘To the Holy Spirit, there is no order of difficulty in miracles. This is familiar enough to you by now, but it has not yet become believable. Therefore, you do not understand it and cannot use it. We have too much to accomplish on behalf of the Kingdom to let this crucial concept slip away. It is a real foundation stone of the thought system I teach and want you to teach’ (T-6.V.A.4: 1-5).

In my previous post, I wrote about the link between the first miracle principle and the idea that there is no hierarchy of illusions. ‘To Have, Give All to All’ discusses an aspect of that principle related to its last sentence, ‘All expressions of love are maximal’:

‘Only one equal gift can be offered to the equal Sons of God, and that is full appreciation. Nothing more and nothing less. Without a range, order of difficulty is meaningless, and there must be no range in what you offer to your brother’ (T-6.V.A.4: 7-9).

Upon reading this, I realised the source of my flatness. While sipping my morning coffee I’d read a news article featuring someone I routinely judged, and this morning the judgement was harsh. Because I wasn’t paying attention to the contents of my mind, I’d just sailed away with my thoughts in the belief that I was right. Not vigilant enough to really notice what I was doing, I hadn’t allowed my judgements to be undone, and consequently my mood had suffered.

Realising my error, I asked for help and was open to recognising my equality in Christ with that person. It wasn’t long before my mood picked up and I felt better toward them, and toward myself —gone was my judgement of a ‘humdrum life’. I’d remembered I had All, by giving All.

I headed out grocery shopping, feeling much lighter, and as I wrangled my heavy shopping cart around the busy aisles, I noticed many instances in which I could choose between ‘full appreciation’ of my fellow shoppers, or feeling in competition with them — for space, a number at the deli, a place in the checkout queue. The competitive vibe can be so subtle, yet when you become aware of it and choose full appreciation instead, your experience changes. You become more flexible and forgiving when things don’t go the way you thought would be best. You can’t blame someone and appreciate them at the same time.

To offer full appreciation to everyone seems like a tall order, but the Course assures us that we only need to set our sights in that direction. That is the part we are responsible for:

‘This is a very preliminary step, and the only one you must take for yourself. It is not even necessary that you complete the step yourself, but it is necessary that you turn in that direction. Having chosen to go that way, you place yourself in charge of the journey, where you and only you must remain’ (T-6.V.A.6: 1-3).

When we accept the role our mind plays in our mood, we are no longer under the tyrannous control of the ego. We have ‘placed ourself in charge of the journey’. The rest will be done for us. It’s in our willingness to perceive someone differently that we open our mind to communion with the Holy Spirit, allowing Him to do His thing. We don’t have to conjure a feeling of full appreciation, we just need to decide that we don’t like what judgement brings us. And when we are ready, we’ll find that the inner, strident head-talk of the ego dissolves, making room for peace and a sense of community.